


The Years Project

by Kikimay



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Auror Harry Potter, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Romance, Slow Burn, Time Theory, Unspeakable Draco Malfoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-31
Updated: 2018-05-31
Packaged: 2019-04-30 03:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14488230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kikimay/pseuds/Kikimay
Summary: “In an ideal world, what would you want to do once we’ve left Hogwarts?”Under Auror Harry’s watch, Unspeakable Draco performs a groundbreaking experiment on Time and Time shows them a life-changing alternative.





	The Years Project

**Author's Note:**

  * For [germankitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/germankitty/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Many A Winding Turn](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369552) by [germankitty](https://archiveofourown.org/users/germankitty/pseuds/germankitty). 



> Dear Germankitty, I hope you like this story. I tried to incorporate the tropes you like the most and I hope I didn’t fail. It think that, once you start writing, the story takes its own turn and this one did that too. I also have to say that it was hard to pick among your stories, because once I’ve read them, I didn't want to change anything! You make the boys so happy and I love it, I struggled to find something I wanted to modify. Thankfully, among the things you like there are “time-travel” and “do over”, so I sort of used those tropes to create the story. I hope this fits your tastes.
> 
> Many many thanks to Maesterchill, for her attention to detail and patience in correcting this story. Thanks to KatherineBlack who read it first.

_“In an ideal world, what would you want to do once we’ve left Hogwarts?”_ Harry asked Draco.

It was late, and the fire in the hearth was casting gently-flickering shadows over the Eighth-year common room. The two of them were the only students still up and about, preferring to wind down on their own after the impromptu party they’d thrown on the last evening before they started prepping for their N.E.W.T.s in earnest.

Harry was sprawled in one of the squishy armchairs – one in a warm mustard-yellow – close to the fireplace. Draco shifted against the armrest of the mossy-green couch he’d chosen, and absently started tapping one of the many cushions piled around him with his wand, changing the colour from apricot to orange to terracotta to russet and every imaginable shade in between. The mindless action helped him think about what kind of answer he might give. Restlessly, he stretched his long legs towards the dying fire, slouching in a way that he’d never have allowed himself before.

“It’s not such a hard question, is it?”

“No…no, it’s not.”

“Then…will you give me an answer?”

 

*

 

_London, Ministry of Magic Headquarters, April 2019_

Draco Malfoy stepped out of the crowded elevator and walked along the long corridor lined with doors on both sides, until he reached a set of heavy oak doors. He pushed them with all his strength, causing a noise that echoed throughout the corridor up to the elevator. He marched implacably to the Head Auror office and pushed the door.

A young secretary was standing before him, dressed in peacock blue, face flushed in fear and outrage.

“Stop!” she exclaimed, following Draco closely. “Stop, please! You can’t go in there!”

Draco gave no sign of seeing or hearing her; he pushed yet another door and stepped towards the Head Auror’s desk. The man himself was sitting behind it, surrounded by subordinates who cleared the way once they saw Draco approaching.

“I’m s-so sorry!” the secretary stuttered. “I couldn’t stop him, I-I tried!”

Harry Potter’s expression softened visibly.

“Don’t worry Carrie, it’s not your fault,” he said to her, oozing a condescending attitude that made Draco only feel angrier. “You can go, all of you. I’ll deal with Unspeakable Malfoy on my own.”

“Will you now?” Draco provoked him.

Harry didn’t reply until his Junior Aurors and his secretary were out of the room.

“What’s wrong, Malfoy?” he asked, without preambles or kindness. 

His green eyes were blazing with anger, but his expression was contained. During his years working for the Ministry, Harry had managed to master emotions and reactions. He was looking younger than his age, dark beard framing his face as much as the glasses, the untamable black hair. The collar of his crimson uniform was buttoned up to his Adam’s apple and the contrast with his skin gave him the handsome and regal air of a king.

Draco gritted his teeth until he felt pain.

“Why did you do that, huh?” he exhaled, his voice strangled by the rage he was feeling. “Do you really hate me that much?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Malfoy.”

 _“My research!”_ Draco snapped, his mouth twisting into a bitter grimace, his face red with shame. He had planned to handle the conversation better. “I worked all my life for this moment, to have the chance to prove that...I worked so hard and of course you have to come and ruin everything!”

Potter’s eyebrows arched.

“You’re talking about the Years Project, I suppose.”

“It’s my project, not yours!”

“And I never claimed differently,” Harry replied, nonplussed. “I wouldn’t know where to start with time charms but I’ve got an order.”

“You’re the Head Auror, if you haven’t noticed. You give the orders!”

“And the Minister gives orders to me!” Harry retorted, raising his voice. His hands clenched into closed fists that revealed the intricate pattern of his veins. “She asked me to assist and I have to obey.”

“The Minister never interfered with the work of the Unspeakables before.”

“She did this time.”

Draco exhaled a long, pained breath. 

“Meddling with time is dangerous,” he heard Harry say, his tone now softer as if he was trying to console him. “People are scared that...people are scared, they want the Aurors to assist. We won’t interfere with your work. As a matter of fact, we won’t do anything at all. We just need to be present as you perform your experiment and report, that’s it.”

“So I cannot be trusted, can I?” Draco whispered, more to himself than to the other man.

“What do you…”

“Nothing, Potter. Tomorrow, seven o’clock, Time Room. Don’t be late.”

 

*

 

The Years Project was the most ambitious study of time and relativity done by a wizard. Draco had spent ten years in the silence of his laboratory completing his research. Once he had proved that the effects of the magic unleashed would be reabsorbed by the Time Room, he’d obtained the authorisation for more experiments.

Then the Ministry had decided to rationalise the magic performed in the Department of Mysteries and the procedures started to slow down, until this current order to carry out the final experiment with Aurors in the room.

Draco shouldn’t have acted so surprised, after all he knew how much weight his own past carried; the obstacles that came across his path were because of the Mark he had on his skin. It hurt, still. Especially that idea of being watched over by Potter, of all men.

He straightened himself as he remembered his goal, as he heard the Aurors taking positions behind him in the Time Room. It was his chance to prove that some good could still come from a Malfoy.

Harry stepped towards him, wand in place.

“Is everything alright?” he asked. “Can you start?”

Draco turned to him.

“Yes, I can. Please stay back.”

Harry nodded, obeyed. 

 

*

 

The Time Room was unlike he remembered it. Completely empty and blindingly white, with only one clock on the wall marking the passing of time with the big strokes of its pendulum.

The two Aurors assisting him had taken positions on the sides of the room and Draco was at the centre, pointing his wand towards some sort of machine, a rectangular wooden box filled with gears and pointers that moved rhythmically. It must have been Draco’s invention; Harry wanted to come closer to take a good look at it, but reined in his curiosity.

Draco himself was looking utterly absorbed in his task, eyes focused on the box. He still was very peculiar about his physical appearance, clean and tidy at every chance, authoritarian in his blue Unspeakable uniform. His hair was the only affected thing about his appearance; a bit longer than in his Hogwarts years, it wasn’t pushed back as always. 

Sometimes Harry mused about the softness of Malfoy’s hair; the feeling of it under someone’s fingertips, the look of it early in the morning, when it wasn’t so rigidly styled. He never told anyone about it, though.

“I’m going to perform the incantation,” Draco said, turning to him once again. “A ray of light will erupt from the machinery, but nothing more than that. I suggest you stay in your positions and don’t interrupt me.”

Harry nodded and rolled his eyes at the Unspeakable’s pedantry. He widened his stance on the spot.

 _“Tempus regit actum,”_ Draco whispered, staring at the machinery. _“Tempus regit actum, ex nihilo nihil fit…”_

The gears started to roll faster, Harry tightened the grip on his wand as Draco continued to perform his spell. Then, abruptly, there was a beam of golden light coming from the box and the clock on the wall stopped moving; its pointer trembled and started to turn back. Harry spotted a smile growing on Draco’s face.

“Is it working then?” he asked.

“Yes, it is!” Draco exclaimed. “It is!”

The light intensified and the clock turned back to five minutes before. Draco laughed in joy and Harry smiled to show his support. He didn’t understand the importance of the experiment, especially when such a thing as Time Turners existed.

“This will be groundbreaking!” Draco said. “Think of all the possible implications!”

Harry nodded, trying to look as convincing as he could. Somehow, seeing Draco full of joy was consolatory and good for him too and he needed to keep it that way. The Unspeakable pointed his wand against the clock on the wall and again on the box, shutting down its fast rolling. He gave a solemn sigh.

“I declare this experiment concluded,” he said. “The Years Box seems to be fully functioning and its performance is better than I…”

He didn’t have the chance to complete his sentence.

Light burst from the box once again, a golden vortex spiralling faster and faster. Draco pointed his wand at it without results. Harry rushed towards him and then heard the scream of one of his boys; he was being dragged towards the vortex by an invisible source that he couldn’t overpower.

“Shut it down!” he screamed at Draco, running to the boy, creating a barrier between him and the vortex with his body. The other Auror also ran towards him, they both tried to secure their mate. “Shut it down!”

“I’m trying…I don’t…”

Harry pushed his boys against the wall and turned around; Draco’s arm appeared to be physically inside the vortex.

“Draco!” he screamed, running towards him. “Draco, get back!”

“No! I have to stop it, I can stop it…”

“Draco!” he called his name and rushed towards him, pressing his whole weight against the Unspeakable’s chest, grabbing his caught arm by the elbow and pulling with all the strength he had. Draco screamed, the vortex swirled. 

And then they saw the images.

_“Gotta have some beauty sleep before that.”_

_“I’d tell you that I would very probably say yes. If you ever asked me.”_

_“Your Civic Duty: Procreate!”_

_“Did...did you marry her?”_

_“Let’s make love, shall we?”_

_“In an ideal world, what would you want to do once we’ve left Hogwarts?”_

Harry held Draco by the shoulders and they both looked inside the vortex. There were babies in there; small hands full of sand and chubby cheeks reddened by the sun, lips curving in a smile, tentative steps made by small feet.

When Draco opened his hand, he seemed almost able to grasp the images. Worried that he could get sucked into the vortex, Harry tried to stop him by grabbing his wrists. Other images came into view.

Draco naked under him, moaning his name and squeezing his biceps, his blond head thrashing wildly on a pillow, Draco’s grey eyes wide open and blown with pleasure. He saw himself kissing him, pleasuring him, loving him.

He stilled, unable to move. Then he felt other hands grabbing him, pulling his uniform. He came to his senses and pulled Draco against his chest with all his strength.

They fell on the ground along with the young Aurors. The vortex disappeared. 

“What was that, boss?”

Harry ignored the question. He saw Draco lying on the ground in a fetal position. He tried to reach for him.

“Are you okay?” he asked. Draco didn’t seem to hear him; he was holding his arms up to his head, his eyes stubbornly closed. “Draco?”

“Maybe we should destroy the box,” an Auror said.

The Unspeakable opened his eyes and jumped up towards him.

“Don’t you dare!” he panted. “Don’t you dare! It’s my work, it was just…”

“It was just an accident,” Harry helped him. “It happens with new, experimental magic. We don’t have to destroy anything, we just need to assess the situation, determine if the machine isn’t dangerous and write a report. That’s all we will do this morning,” he ordered.

The Aurors nodded.

“I can shut it down,” Draco murmured. “There’s a safety lever, I can…”

“Do it.”

Draco held the machine and pulled a lever.

“We’ll take it from here,” Harry said.

“You won’t destroy it?”

“I give you my word,” Harry promised, solemn like the hero he was. He tilted his head, noticing a bruise on Draco’s cheek. “You should see a Healer.”

“Potter, I…”

“That’s okay, I’ll stay here.”

 

*

 

Draco sat in front of the desk. Harry’s office was clean but messy, full of papers scattered everywhere, some flying memos on the ceiling and random books piled against the wall. A very fitting space for someone with untamable hair and temper. 

For a moment he mused about standing up to take a better look at the items, then Harry entered the room.

“I’m sorry if I’ve kept you waiting,” he started, open jacket fluttering, more papers in his arms. “We had to check everything and—”

“You didn’t destroy my invention?”

Harry frowned, sat down in front of him.

“No,” he said, perhaps offended by Draco’s lack of trust. “I promised you and we didn’t. But I’ll have to file a report and I can’t lie.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Draco, please.”

The Unspeakable crossed his legs, looking down at his hands. 

“You have to explain to me what I saw,” Harry whispered, after a moment.

“What do you mean?”

“You know, those images. They looked…you saw them too, right?”

“Yes.”

“What were they?”

“I don’t know.”

“Liar,” Harry replied. He raised himself from his chair, air trembling with his nervousness. He stared at Draco. “You know, please tell me.”

The Unspeakable didn’t dare to raise his eyes, he kept on staring at his long manicured fingers as he politely answered the question.

“You see, I was working on a theory that allowed wizards to have a better understanding of the relativity of time. So far, we used Time Turners to go back in time but it was as if…as if time itself was something organic, a sequence of cause and effect, but it is not. With each choice we make, with each breath…we change the fabric of time.”

“Go on.”

“So how could it be possible to turn back in time and find the same conditions we left, the things we remembered from the past? Those things are lost forever and if we consider the future out of our control, then the past must be too.”

“I…I don’t think I understand…”

Draco looked at him.

“What we saw were our lives, if we had made different choices. It was us, in an alternative past.”

Harry swallowed noisily. 

“It was us?” he repeated.

“Yes, as I said…if we had made different choices, if we had become friends during our Eighth Year at Hogwarts, if we had started a relationship, if we had fallen in…it doesn’t matter,” Draco asserted sharply. “It didn’t happen, so it doesn’t concern us.”

“But it did…I mean, it could have…”

“So I could have become the next king of England and you could have become a Quidditch player…it didn’t happen, it doesn’t matter! I just need to know what you will write on your report. The fate of my research depends on you.”

“I’ll write what happened,” Harry replied. “How can you be so indifferent?” he then asked, infuriated. “It was us! You saw it and I saw it and—”

“And I suggest you forget it,” Draco cut off. “Let me know when your report is ready,” he said, getting up and going out.

 

*

 

_“What?”_

_“Nothing,” Draco murmured, then gave Harry a rueful smile. “It’s just, my inner Severus told me I’m turning into a walking cliché.”_

_“Ah.” Harry grinned and brushed a tantalising kiss across Draco’s mouth. “I’m sure he’d get along perfectly with my inner Hermione.”_

_“What a horrendous thought.”_

_“Terrifying,” Harry agreed, then slid one hand up from Draco’s waist to cup his cheek. “But you haven’t answered my question yet.”_

_Draco leaned into the warm, calloused palm. “Strictly speaking, neither have you.” He smiled and batted his lashes. “And I asked you first.”_

_“So you did,” Harry agreed, growing serious. “We’ve found something that means a great deal to me. And I don’t think I could bear to lose what we’ve found.”_

_“Neither could I,” Draco whispered. “So…where does that leave us?”_

_“With my question. Do you want to keep what we have?”_

_“More than anything.”_

_“Then…will you move in with me?”_

_“Yes.”_

Harry woke up with a gasp. He looked around trying to spot the familiar silhouettes of the furniture in his room: the wardrobe, the chair full of worn shirts, the plant Neville gifted him…He took a deep breath, allowing his heartbeat to slow down. He was used to nightmares, over time he had learned how to deal with them. This was new.

He got out of the bed and went to the bathroom. It was early in the morning, but he knew that he was done sleeping. He got dressed and Flooed himself into the Ministry, with the aim of tackling the stack of papers waiting for his signature. He pushed the lift button and stilled once he saw who was inside.

Draco.

“Potter! What…what are you doing here?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” Harry replied, mastering his own nervousness. “Couldn’t sleep, thought it was better to do some work than to lie in bed, staring at the ceiling,” he added.

Draco took a long look at him.

“Me too,” he then confessed. 

Harry felt a rush of empathy for him, as if someone had squeezed his heart into a tight grip. He opened his mouth to say something.

“If you please,” Draco cut him off, waving at the empty space of the lift to make his invitation clear. “Or if you want to wait for when this will be empty…”

“No! Why should I do that? No, that’s okay,” Harry blathered, stepping in. “I’m coming with you,” he stood next to him, keeping his eyes fixed on the wall as Draco gave no sign of wanting to acknowledge his presence.

“Level two then!”

The lift leaped backwards before starting its fall. 

Harry spied the man next to him out of the corner of his eyes. Draco’s blue uniform was spotless, as always, but his hair looked a bit ruffled to a closer and more attentive examination. He had his hands folded on his lap, pale and almost trembling in the artificial light. 

“You get out here,” he heard him say.

“What? Sorry?”

The Unspeakable turned to him, eyebrows arched in something akin to disbelief.

“Your department, it is on this floor,” he explained. 

Harry squeezed his eyes shut and nodded, shaking his head frantically.

“Yes, yes, I know, I was distracted, I…”

“I noticed, you can go.”

Harry stepped out of the lift then turned around, blocking the door with his hand. 

“We should talk,” he said.

“About what? Please Potter, I have work to do and you’re only—”

“Why can’t you sleep?” he pressed, determined to not let Draco go until he got some answers. “Do you dream about those moments too? It’s all coming to me, as if I’m remembering a previous life. Is that what your machinery does, let you remember your other life?”

“There’s no such thing as ‘another life.’ Potter, for Salazar’s sake!”

“Then explain to me why I see you when I close my eyes!” the Auror demanded. “I see us, being happy and together…I just want to know what that means, if it’s true.”

“I told you what it is! It’s something that could have happened to us, nothing more! It didn’t happen and you need to stop obsessing over it!”

“But it could have,” Harry insisted. The lift clattered in protest to his incessant attempt to block it. “It could have and we didn’t…we didn’t take our chance.”

Draco’s eyes widened, his cheeks flushed as he stepped back.

“Let me go, please,” he muttered through clenched teeth. “I spent all my life thinking about what it should have been, how I could have changed things…I tried my best to not mourn the missed chances and I won’t be bullied into it by you, of all people.”

“I’m not trying to bully you.”

“Then let me go.”

Harry stared at Draco’s ashen face. He let go of the lift door and stepped back.

 

*

 

After signing a dozen papers, Harry managed to nap for few hours. Carrie found him in his office, asleep on a transfigured couch and brought him some tea and biscuits for breakfast.

The morning was mostly uneventful. Around ten, Seamus came into his office with an half-arsed idea that would have caused the possible destruction of the Transylvanian forest; in all honesty, Harry didn’t pay much attention to his words.

At eleven he sent a flying memo to the Department of Mysteries.

 _I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you._  
_Sorry,_  
_HP_

He waited the reply for an half hour until it finally came.

 _I accept your apology._  
_DM_

He decided to write back.

 _Can I offer you a pint after work? I promise I won’t push you into talking about anything you don’t want to talk. It’s been a weird couple of days, just want some company._  
_HP_

The reply was quicker this time.

 _I’ll be at the Leaky._  
_D_

 

*

 

As promised, Draco was sitting at an empty table, his face towards the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron, his hands toying with an half-empty glass of brandy, index finger caressing the edge in a clockwise motion.

Harry stepped in, greeted a few patrons and sat down in from of him.

“I see you’ve already ordered your drink,” he whispered, smiling and taking off his crimson jacket. “I think I’ll have a beer myself. Do you want one, or another brandy?”

“I’m good, thank you.”

Harry reached the counter and quickly came back. Outside it was raining, but inside it was warm and cozy, flying candles illuminating everything with shades of gold. It was almost romantic.

“You look tired,” Draco whispered, after a moment of contemplative silence.

“You do too.”

“Touché.”

They shared a smile.

“I haven’t slept that much; I couldn’t,” Draco confessed, taking a sip of brandy. “I’m a bit worried about the evaluation of my invention, to be sincere. I don’t want the Ministry to use the incident as proof that it doesn’t work. Sure, it needs to be perfected, but…”

“You care about this project,” Harry replied. “I mean, really. You really do.”

“I’ve spent the last ten years of my life working on it.”

Harry nodded. His beer arrived, dark and foamy in a long glass. He tasted it and requested chips.

“Do you want them too?”

“Oh please, Potter.”

The other wizard’s eye-rolling made him smile again. 

“How come we’ve worked ten years in the same place and we’ve never come here together?” he asked.

“We never liked each other that much.”

Harry nodded, dropping his gaze.

“We never treated each other with kindness. How come…I’m sorry, but I want to ask…”

“How come we did in the memories?” Draco completed the question. “I don’t know for sure, it was all a blur, but I think we became friends and then we started to see each other as partners. I don’t really have a good grasp of what it was before.”

“And what did you grasp better?” Harry inquired.

“The children,” Draco whispered. “I can remember them well. There were three in the images I saw, two of them looked exactly like you and the other looked a bit like me. I can see their smiles, their eyes opening to watch me, their hands. It’s very defined.”

Harry swallowed a sudden lump on his throat, he took another sip of beer.

“I think…” Draco murmured again. “I think we were forced to have them. Something about our duty, I can’t really see what it was, but ultimately it worked out and we loved them.”

“Our children.”

The Unspeakable raised his eyes.

“You don’t believe that we could have them now, do you? Even if we tried, there are many variants and we won’t ever know if the result…”

“I’m not thinking about having children with you. Not yet, at least.”

Draco blushed and then bit his lip, infuriated.

“So typical of you Potter, trying to make fun of something I haven’t put into words quite properly! I wasn’t trying to suggest anything.”

“Why not?” Harry urged, pressing his hand against Draco’s. He met a feeble, dispassionate resistance. “We are being honest with one another about what we saw. I dreamed of you.”

Draco stood very still, his eyes shining.

“I dreamed about holding you in my arms and kissing you before going to sleep,” Harry murmured. “It felt so good to dream that, and so sad too…knowing that I wasn’t able to have that, to have you.”

“I think we need to get out of here.”

 

*

 

They came back to the Ministry. Draco had to make new changes in the structure of the machinery.

“See, I think that we’re having all these memories as a sort of side effect of traveling through time. Our fragile minds must be trying to process what we encountered and maybe with a bit of magic…”

“But it’s not bad, is it?” Harry asked, walking alongside him in the corridor towards the lift.

“No, perhaps not. But what if we were stuck watching for longer? What if someone uses it and sees all the possible outcomes? All the missed chances, all the occasions his life could have changed…could a human brain handle that much information?”

“I understand.”

“I need to make sure it’ll work properly and without endangering anyone’s life or mental stability.”

“Yes.”

“I need to make this work,” Draco insisted, stopping in front of the arriving lift. “At least this one thing in my life.”

The door opened, he stepped in. Once again, Harry held the door.

“Draco…” he called, without knowing what he was calling for, his breath trembling with the intensity of an unspoken prayer. “Draco…”

The Unspeakable turned around, grey eyes full of sadness.

“If I kiss you, Harry, I’m fairly certain I won’t be able to stop myself.”

“Then don’t stop!”

“But, you see, you are wishing for a version of me that I’m not. I could have been, yes, but I’m not. I’m afraid it would be terribly disappointing, for you, to realise that the man standing in front of you now is not the same man you saw in your dreams. I don’t want to disappoint you.”

Harry froze on the spot, Draco closed the bars of the lift. Their fingers brushed through the empty spaces of the metal. 

“Please, don’t go just yet.”

“I must, I’m sorry.”

 

*

 

_“Merlin, Potter, must you?”_

_Harry leaned over and brushed a kiss against Draco’s pouting mouth. “Yes, I do,” he murmured. “I love it when you’re snarky.”_

_“I’m trying to be adult about this whole sorry affair!”_

_“We can be very adult when you come back,” Harry said with a slight leer, adding huskily, “and I thought we’re having much more than an affair.”_

_Draco rolled his eyes even as he returned the kiss. “You’re hopeless.”_

_“But you love me anyway, right?”_

_The stormy grey eyes softened until they resembled molten silver. “Merlin knows why, but…yes. I do.”_

Harry woke up, fists clenching the wet sheets once again. His cock was a pulsing column of flesh between his legs and his head was hurting from the dream. He sighed, rolling towards the alarm clock. It was three in the morning, definitely too early to do anything. He snorted.

A white owl tapped on his widow and he got up to let her in. He took the message she was carrying and rewarded her diligence with treats.

“I’m glad to see you again, Lola,” he smiled, caressing her soft plumage. “I missed you.”

 _Hey Harry, I’m back!_  
_Just arrived actually._  
_Wanna grab a bite? I’m starving._  
_Teddy_

 

*

 

The food came quickly. Teddy’s burger was huge, seasoned with red sauce, onions, lettuce and other condiments that Harry couldn’t really distinguish in between the slices of toasted bread. The boy took an enormous bite, moaning in satisfaction.

“Oh Merlin,” he sighed, still chewing. “Truly needed that!”

Harry laughed and tucked into his fish and chips. 

“I was thinking about becoming a vegetarian,” Teddy told him after a while, a hand covering his mouth. “Everytime I come back in here, I tend to follow my old eating patterns and that would be a problem to address in case I want to make that choice.”

“Why do you want to make it?” Harry asked, genuinely interested in everything his godson wanted to share with him. 

“Because of my work,” Teddy shrugged. “Because of the way I see magical beasts and animals in general. I can’t really…make a separation between me and them and that’s why I was thinking about it.”

“I understand,” Harry nodded. 

He took a good look at his godson; Teddy’s hair was lilac and he was sporting a Weird Sisters black shirt with a blue jacket. He looked young, just as Harry remembered, but perhaps more mature. His cheeks were a bit redder, probably due to the long hours spent on an open field, and his hands were covered in small cuts.

“Don’t worry about these,” he murmured, intercepting his godfather’s gaze. “It’s our latest baby dragon. He gets fussy and shakes his thorny tail everytime I try to change his mat. He’ll get used to me, eventually.”

“I hope so.”

“Charlie says that I’m doing good,” Teddy added with an enthusiastic smile that made him look exactly like his mother.

“I’m sure you are!” Harry replied, proudly. “I’m glad that you love working with Charlie and the animals.”

“I do, it’s amazing!”

“I missed you, but I’m still glad.”

It wasn’t something Harry often did, confessing his sadness. He never wanted to bother other people with his needs and emotional ups and downs, surely didn’t want to weigh on his friends’ lives. With Teddy it was a bit different, as if his gentle eyes allowed him a degree of honesty and openness that was unachievable with others. Teddy was his godson, so much younger than Harry and in need of his protection and care, but he was also family, a real one.

“What’s wrong, Harry?” the boy asked. “Is something bothering you?”

He was perceptive, just as his father had been. Harry smiled. He told him about Draco and the accident in the Time Room, about what he saw in the vortex and Draco’s reaction to his awkward attempt to have a proper conversation about it.

“Do you think he might be scared? I guess it’s not easy to deal with a different version of your life playing before your eyes.”

“I guess not,” Harry sighed, leaning against the back of his chair. “I don’t know really. He’s pretty indecipherable, your cousin.”

“He can be…maybe. I’ve always thought that…” Teddy bit his lip, becoming silent.

“You’ve always thought what?” Harry insisted.

“That he is, but for you. That maybe you’re the one who can’t see.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing, just a thought,” Teddy replied, casually chewing at his chips.

Harry frowned, staring at him. Then he closed his eyes.

“I just wish it wasn’t so damn awkward, I just wished…it was beautiful, you know? What I saw. We were deeply in love in that reality.”

“Do you want to be deeply in love with Draco in this reality too?”

“I don’t know, I…what if we gave it a chance?” he proposed, as if Draco was present. “What could go so wrong? Us thinking that, maybe, it doesn’t work after all? We’re not a relationship now and we could go back to this situation at any time, but…” he fell silent, gulped. “In the life I saw, I woke up next to him every morning and I can still almost feel it…the warmth of his body, the scent…It feels like it happened to me, truly and properly. That it wasn’t just a vision, but more like a memory.”

Teddy tilted his face.

“Is it really that intense to see an alternative life?” he asked, brown eyes luminous with curiosity.

“It is,” Harry replied. “That’s what scared the Ministry and that’s why Draco is currently working so hard. He doesn’t want others to think that his creation is dangerous and too powerful to be controlled.”

“I get it.”

“He wants it to work, he wants to prove himself with this project.”

Teddy nodded. The waiter came around, asking if everything was good and if they needed something else. Teddy smiled at her and ordered a piece of fruity cake that Harry insisted he have. He always loved a nice dessert at the end of a meal.

“Do you think that Draco’s efforts will be rewarded?” he asked, once the waiter was gone.

“I hope so,” Harry replied. “I can see how much he cares about this project and I want him to succeed. He looks so…He told me something else,” he added suddenly. “He told me that the man I saw in the vortex wasn’t him. I mean, it was but you know, it was him in different circumstances, if things had gone in a different way…it’s not him like he is now.”

“That’s understandable, and true.”

“So you agree with him?”

“He has a point,” Teddy shrugged. “And maybe that’s what scares him the most: the idea that you’re truly searching for another person. By wanting him, you just want to be with that other Draco. That you don’t want him for what he is now and here.”

“I…don’t know what to say to that. I believe that that man, those men in the vision were really us, me and Draco.”

“Yes, but that’s not the point. Draco wants to be wanted for what he is now, he can’t compete with a mirage. No one can, I think. And maybe it makes him sad that you didn’t care about him before the accident.”

“That’s not true!” Harry exclaimed. “I get that we’ve never been the closest friends, but it isn’t true that I didn’t care about him before. I did, I tried to…it was always hard to talk to him. After the war there were times when I wanted that, when I felt like it was good for us to talk, to bury the past together. But, for some reasons, it was never possible and he never made it easy and neither did I, I suppose. I’m not blaming him for anything.”

“You wanted to be friends with cousin Draco?”

“I did,” Harry admitted. “I do, I…I can’t help thinking how beautiful he is.”

Teddy tilted his head once again and smiled at him so softly that Harry had to blush. 

“That’s good.”

“You think so?”

“You two could be a lovely couple, I’ve always believed that,” he said, making his godfather blush even harder. “And you can start by telling Draco what you just told me, that you’ve always thought that he was beautiful, that he truly is the person you want to know better. Not his happier version of the alternate reality, but him.”

Harry nodded.

“Thank you, Teddy bear,” he whispered, squeezing his godson’s hand. “You always make things clearer.”

 

*

 

 _Draco, it’s Harry._  
_I need to see you. It’s all clear now._  
_Tell me where you are and I’ll be there._  
_Trust me, just this once. Please._  
_Harry_

 

*

 

He found Draco in the Time Room, bent on a stool way too small for his legs, a pair of huge magnifying glasses on his nose, his wand emitting sparks, while he was looking at the machinery operating in front of him.

“Draco,” Harry called, almost in a prayer. The meeting with Teddy had clarified his mind and, while he was waiting for Draco’s reply, he had the chance to come up with a speech. Some sensible, reasonable, good words to persuade the other man to give him a chance.

As he watched Draco’s shoulders sag and his handsome face turn towards him, the words disappeared in a fog of confusion and fear. 

Draco put down the glasses and smiled sadly at him.

“Harry,” he whispered, the light in his eyes overshadowed by his weariness. “You wanted to talk, said that everything was clear now for you.”

“Yes, I…” the Auror stepped forward, then stopped himself. “When was the last time you had a proper night’s sleep? You look awful.”

“Why thank you,” Draco retorted.

Harry rubbed his forehead and shut his eyes. 

“You know what I mean,” he muttered. “You…what can I do for you?”

Draco looked genuinely confused by his question.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “I was trying to set back the machinery, but apparently it’s blocked. I don’t know why and how, I tried to restart it but I must have pressed the security lever too hard and I will probably need to disassemble and reassemble everything once again.”

“I’m sorry, you told me how much it meant to you.”

“Yes, well…I’m too tired now and it’s rotten work,” he sighed, dropping his wand.

“Then come with me.”

 

*

 

Harry’s apartment was on top of a restored Victorian building. It was clean and tidy, modest in dimension but hospitable, provided with an equipped guest room.

Draco took a shower and had the chance to rest a little, before Harry served him a generous breakfast plate. Surprisingly, or perhaps not, Harry Potter was an exquisite cook and managed to prepare everything without magic. When Draco finished his meal, he cleaned the dishes immediately, as the other sat still on the table, looking at the sky.

“Thank you,” the Unspeakable whispered. The rosy fingered dawn was rising on the horizon, illuminating the kitchen. Harry’s shoulders looked like they were shining. “You said that you wanted to talk,” Draco recalled. “You said that everything was clear…”

“You should have guessed what I wanted to say by now.”

“Tell me anyway.”

Harry turned around, an hesitant look on his face.

“Draco, I know that we can’t build what we saw in a night. I know that everything seems sudden and that maybe I’m not handling—”

“No,” he interrupted. “You’re handling this well. I won’t have you blame yourself, Potter. Not on my watch.”

The Auror chuckled, he put down the clean dishes and walked towards the other man.

“It’s me,” Draco admitted when they were too close for comfort; Harry’s presence was always polarizing. “As I told you, I don’t want you to…” he took a breath, raising his eyes. “I spent the last ten years of my life obsessing over time, I’m not the man you saw tenderly taking care of those children. I’m not sure we could have children at this point or that we would love each other like in that other life.”

“Then let me tell you this,” Harry replied, kneeling in front of him. “I’m not that man either,” he admitted with a smile. “I’ve spent my life helping people in danger but neglecting my needs. I have friends that I love with my whole heart and a godson who makes me feel like my life has meaning, but I’m not that man either. Neither do I want to be, not just now,” he cupped Draco’s cheek with his hand and caressed a stray hair obscuring his eye. “I’m not searching for the Draco of the vortex, not entirely. I’m looking at you, here and now.”

Draco’s exhaled in a sigh and Harry continued, encouraged by this reaction.

“You know, Teddy advised me to tell you how much I liked you even before the vortex. If anything, the experiment was a confirmation of what I’ve always suspected.”

“And what is that?”

“That I could fall completely and totally in love with you.”

Draco held Harry’s hand still on his cheek and pressed a kiss on his palm.

“Draco…”

Whatever Harry intended to say was interrupted by another kiss, on his lips. He gulped, at loss for words, as Draco parted from him, wide eyed and hesitant.

“I’m sorry, I wanted to know.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Harry whispered, this time cupping the other man’s face with both hands. “I want this.”

The following kiss was slower at first, heated and deep once they both felt familiar with the other. It didn’t trigger memories from another life, but felt like coming home at the same time. 

“I feel like I’m falling in love with you right now,” Harry whispered, breathless.

“I feel the same,” Draco said, caressing the hands holding his face. “Let’s make love, shall we?” he asked.

“Are you sure?” 

“Entirely.”

Harry stood up and offered his hand, Draco took it and followed him to the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

>  _Tempus regit actum_ = this is actually a procedural formula, it literally means that from time depends the validity of a procedural act. I thought it was also an apt metaphor of time making things valid or not.
> 
>  _Ex nihilo nihil fit_ = from nothing comes nothing
> 
> * * *
> 
> [Fic headers](http://hd-remix.tumblr.com/post/174435300624/drarry-fic-the-years-project) and a [pull quote](http://hd-remix.tumblr.com/post/174440764643/theres-no-such-thing-as-another-life-potter) have been posted to tumblr. Help promote the fest by liking and reblogging!


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